Skepfeeds-The Best Skeptical blogs of the day

#53 Disney World

Posted in Fun, Humorous, Stuff God Hates by Skepdude on November 17, 2008

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “STUFF GOD HATES”

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!

Today I, The Almighty Lord, would like to talk about the evilest place on earth – Disney World.

Disney World was created by a greedy fascist, is run entirely by anal-loving queers, is populated by satanic singing robots, and is visited by hordes of depressed peasants.

I hate Disney World and I have always wondered, why is it necessary? Is the world that I have created not good enough for you ungrateful sods? It is as if you have tried to create your own pathetic little version of Heaven on Earth. And while getting to Disney World is almost as expensive as getting to Heaven, I assure you that Heaven never has any lines and is never sticky and hot. Heaven also has a way better selection of roller-coasters.

Fat people love Disney World.

Fat people love Disney World.

No, Disney World bears a much closer resemblance to hell – always burning hot and always overcrowded with disgusting fatties.

In design and function it is so similar to hell, there is no doubt in My Mind that Satan partook in the creation of Disney World. It is meant to distract humans and make them happy without Me, and it uses a constant barrage of magical midgets and supernatural homosexuals to do so.

Just look at the different parks they have there. ‘The Magic Kingdom’; it has blasphemy right in the name! Magic is inherently Satanic! Only I, and My Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, who are all One Person, are capable of performing any supernatural feats such as appearing as fire or walking on water or destroying the world.

Then there is Epcot, which celebrates the technological and scientific achievements of mankind. Sin! Sin! Pride-sin! I WILL SMASH YOUR STUPID SCIENCE BRAINS INTO MUSHY BITS!

At Epcot, they go so far as to have that smarmy bitch Ellen Degeneres and Bill Nye the science jerk teach children about dinosaurs and evolution. I tell you, they are practically begging Me to destroy the place with a volcano.

There is also ‘The Animal Kingdom.’ Again, the blasphemy is right in the name. This clearly violates what I declared in My Book; man shall rule over the animals. They shall not have their own kingdom. In this park, there are areas representing both Africa and Asia. Although I will say the rollercoaster in Asia was decent, the Disney people are clearly trying to piss Me off.

There were also some other parks, I’m sure they were all blasphemous and evil in their own right – but I didn’t have time to visit them all.

Anyway, if all that’s not enough, at Disney World, they actually tell humans that it’s a place where all their dreams and wishes will come true! LIES! Hear Me, and hear Me well mortals: your dreams will not come true there. Unless your dream is to pay twice as much for rice with shrimp poo and get blisters on your feet.

And that’s another thing! On My recent exploratory visit to the most blasphemous place on Earth, I was enraged to hear a recorded announcement tell the masses (after a paltry display of fireworks), that Disney “hopes all your dreams come true.”

Oh really? You just can’t encourage humans that way! What if their dream is to assassinate the president?! Or conquer and enslave all of Europe?! Disney supports those dreams.

I, The Almighty Lord, have spoken.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “STUFF GOD HATES”

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5 Responses

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  1. jordan said, on January 4, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    you evil little mickey hater

  2. Cutlery Tray : said, on October 27, 2010 at 9:03 PM

    my kids love to go disneyworld, i think every kid would love to go there;’;

  3. Bath Screens · said, on November 14, 2010 at 10:28 AM

    all of my kids enjoy the park and rides in Disney World, disney really knows how to please kids `-’

  4. krystal said, on July 17, 2012 at 11:14 AM

    I get everything youre saying, and ive heard it all before, and then some…but who in the world are YOU to refer to, or even dare to represent yourself as God!?! Talking about sinning, and youre no better,, therefore I did NOT enjoy your article…try again when you want to BE YOURSELF.

  5. Luis Ahrends said, on October 3, 2012 at 11:40 PM

    I always love to visit and come by at Disney world. The place is very exciting and that is the best place to be for your kids and nieces. I really love to spend my time in it. *;””

    Kindest regards
    http://www.healthmedicinelab.com/pain-behind-eye/


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