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Reincarnation Bank

Posted in Skepdude by Skepdude on May 26, 2009

The name says it all, Reincarnation Bank! It is a bank for when you reincarnate. You deposit your valuables now and you get them when you “come back”, or as they say, upon the age of majority, defined as some age after the client dies. Would you believe that someone has the balls to try to pull this of? Would you believe that someone actually thinks that other people will fall for this? PZ is right, this is brilliant! Cold and callous, but brilliant nevertheless. Check out some golden quotes from this, very minimalistic, website.

If you leave nothing purposely behind when you die, then what is there here for you when you return?

Begin by believing and just do it. The great end of life is not just knowledge but action so act now and save for your reincarnation.

Screw the 401ks, forget about saving for retirement, save for reincarnation. Now you know a “bank” is on the right track when they’re trying to sell themselves to you by asking you to begin by believing!

Reincarnation bank offer a safe and secure management system for its clients – a place they can leave behind their assets and commodities for their return into the next life.

Genius! Forget about asking you to “remember them on your will” these guys want the whole damn will to be about them. And in order to achieve that they are trying to make you think that it is actually for you. Evil f$%&ing genius!. And look at their Termns and Conditions. These are all of them, not just a portion:

1. No verbal or special arrangements shall be made to the live client or the deceased estate other than those embodied in this agreement.

2. The client or the client’s estate indemnifies 2i Limited, its directors or its agents against any claims arising in consequence of any or all deposits and investments in pursuance of this agreement.

3. No claim can be made prior to the age of majority, majority age being an age after the date of the clients demise. All claims may be subject to verification through regression.

More Genius! Give us your stuff now. You cannot make any claims on the stuff you give us, ever, and your reincarnated self is “subject to verification through regression” – what a great out even if someone was crazy enough to try and claim any funds. Brilliant!

PZ made a brilliant observation too. He noticed that there was only a “Deposit” link on the website, but no “Withdrawal” one. Hmm….Brilliant!


4 Responses

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  1. Kenz said, on October 5, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    It’s a great idea but it’s missing one critical element that I thought of 2 decades ago to be able to get your money back (bad for bank, good for customer!)

    1) You make money all your life. Some earn more, some less.
    But when you die, you leave some earned savings/assets behind.
    2) Why not deposit your remainder earnings after your burial
    to a “Reincarnation” bank so you start your next life with your
    school fees already earned by you from the previous life!
    3) Government-appointed hypnotherapists can offer doing past-life
    regressions on kids at around age 10 and beyond with no gain
    to themselves (Gain should be made illegal.)
    4) Once the subject gives a name & address in trance, he/she can be asked if
    they had deposited any money in the reincarnation bank in a previous life.
    If they say yes, they would have to reproduce a code/phrase/secret word
    that was agreed on by the bank & the subject that’ll allow the subject
    access to the funds in their account from the past life.

    Can you imagine how easy that would make your and your parent’s life to raise & educate you?

    • Skepdude said, on October 6, 2009 at 9:29 AM

      Are you serious or am I missing the irony?

  2. John said, on May 9, 2010 at 9:44 AM

    I note that is back on the internet, under new owners by the looks. Good luck to em I say, its a nanny world we live in, people should be able to draw their own conclusions…..who knows, we might just come back after all. Be interesting to see what happens over time eh.

  3. OC said, on August 9, 2010 at 8:29 AM

    Please read the following warning from FSC Gibraltar:

    Thank you.

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