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Ghost hunting can be a real pain in the ass…

Posted in Skepbitch by Skepdude on July 3, 2009

READ THE FULL ENTRY AT SKEPBITCH

Have you ever wondered when you should resume sex safely after ghost hunting? How can you exorcise a ghost that has possessed your womb? Or how can you remove a ghost from your rectum? (After you’ve finished with it, presumably.)

Look no further! Maryanna Chatelaine Moresby has treated these common problems in her article Sex after ghost hunting – exorcisms of a womb or anal ghosts: And when is the right time to have sex afterwards?

For today, let’s focus on “Anomalous Anal Ghost Phenomena”.

According to Moresby, when a person dies, their physical body ceases to exist, although a “ghost body” remains, consisting of the “mind, intellect, ego and soul”. Sometimes, these ghost bodies seek refuge in a human host, entering via a vulnerable cavity. Generally, they prefer to enter through the woman’s, um, birth canal, or the man’s rectum. Moresby says that the ass is an “open portal” for spirits. Why enter through a boring old ear or a mouth when you can invade a genital orifice?

Ghost hunting is to blame for this anal affliction:

My husband was plagued with anal ghost 4 times since he started Ghost Hunting. We went to many doctors to find out what his problem was until a psychic from Japan told him what was going on.

Your uninvited tenant may be the ghost of a loved one, an intimate stranger, or a dirty demon.  But how do you know if your buttocks are haunted? Rectal ghost symptoms include severe constipation, diarrhea and flatulence. Moresby claims:

I can certainly attest to this as it has happened to my husband on more then one occasion. And Felching out ghosts is usually a bigger fear and reality then one might think.

Next time you suffer from these demonic digestive system symptoms, you might want to reach for your Priest, rather than your Pepto-Bismol.

Colon Cleanse Products wull not help you if you have an anal or colon ghost!

Laxatives won’t work either. The most effective method for removing a troublesome rectal ghost is to perform a magical enema.

In some cultures spicy hot Enemas are said to chase a ghosts from a persons bowels in many cultures wine or beer enemas are used to get the ghost drunk so he will just fall out of the person and it then can be captured and put into a bottle or container for safe keeping. My husband keeps his in a pickle jar in the garage and has gotten several intriguing EVP’s from it.

This is one tale that TAPS won’t touch. For more challenging guests, try a “blessed lubricant”.

A quicker form of the dry enema ghost removal utilizes the injection of a small amount of water-based lubricant such as K-Y that is blessed and administered directly into the rectum via a non-hypodermic syringe, such as an oral syringe, or from some other source. My husband usually does this for 5 days after any ghost encounter he has as a precaution. The usual amount of blessed lubricant applied is about 2 tsp (10 cc), which will produce a movement in 30 minutes or less. The movement will be produced in a compact body, rather than in the more copious liquid form produced by a wet enema; and since no water is used, none will be retained higher up in the colon, to be expelled at a later, and possibly inconvenient, time.

Is it just me, or is this one kinky couple?

Moresby shares with us the touching story of her husband Riley’s rectal misadventures:

READ THE FULL ENTRY AT SKEPBITCH

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  1. PJ TIBBS said, on July 5, 2009 at 12:20 AM

    My First Sexual Ghost Hunting Case And Research

    The first case I ever dealt with was of a Old Shongaloo, Louisiana woman. She was the now deceased Marguerite Harp who lived in Hawaii. At the time had her bother Buddy Harp got in touch with me and let me know when she would be visiting family in Marshall, Texas so I could meet up with her personally. And this case occurred in early 1983.

    It also became apparent to me that her brother told me that when you or anyone got around his sister the ghost would perform Paranormal intergluteal sex with anyone she got to know. And because of this other family members were very affairs to be around her. What many experienced was ghostly sexual outer-course. This which is a type of irrumation, this is where the ghost places his penis into the live partner’s buttock cleavage or gluteal cleft. And Buddy Harp said it had occurred to him personally on many occasions when his sister was present or not. Note: [The Harp’s were the the Aunt and Uncle of Lisa Lee Harp Waugh who has now went on to be a well known Necromancer and psychic medium who hunts for ghosts in Fort Worth, Marshall, Denton, Galveston, Houston and Dallas, Texas area.]

    The sex crazed ghost Marguerite was having trouble with was performing paranormal axillary intercourse with her several times daily. This is where the ghost rubbed his penis in her armpit forcibly, even when she was in public, or attending church services. Today paranormal axillary intercourse is also known as being bagpiped or paranormal ghost bagpiping. Frightened she really did not know who to contact or even tell of this strange encounter to. A mutual friend of ours put her in touch with me. So I traveled from my home in the hills North Carolina to Marshall,Texas where they would be staying to the to investigate the haunted activity myself first hand.

    I interviewed Marguerite Harp at the Barnett Hotel on April 3rd 1983.

    The Harp’s grew up in Shongaloo a village in Webster Parish, Louisiana, United States. Marguerite said the actual ghost had started having this type of paranormal intercourse with her since she was 17 years of age. And that other family members who lived in the area had had the same types of encounters when ever she got close to them. She said her life had been a living hell for many years. And she was always frightened to say anything to anyone. And more so was her brother Buddy who the ghost he said, would sexually have paranormal irrumation with him when the two were together no matter where they were.

    Buddy the younger of the two siblings said the ghost would often “Frottage” with him when he was in school in his younger years and during business deals and meetings as he grew to adulthood. Both the Harps moved around the world many times running from these unseen haunted molesters. they both ended up moving to Hawaii before their deaths because they said it was the only place in the United States that this ghost could not attack them.

    Frottage, more commonly known as dry humping, is the act of achieving sexual pleasure with a partner or partners, whether naked or clothed, without penetration. This can include using almost every part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs, and sexual organs. Frottage can include mutual genital rubbing, sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing and most of the other forms of non-penetrative sex.

    I began my experiment by challenging their ghost to attack me. At the time of the exploration (1983) of ghost EMF’s and other familiar ghost hunting gadgets of today were basically unheard of. Still as of today and, the only way to document a situation such as a sexual encounter with a real ghost is to have it happen to you personally. Otherwise you have no proof except to take the word of the individual that tells you that it happens to them.

    There are many reasons a ghost may choose frottage. The most common reasons are as a form of foreplay before intercourse or as a method to achieve sexual gratification without the more sexually explicit (and in some circumstances, forbidden) oral, vaginal or anal sexual intercourse.

    The ghost descended upon me when I was alone in my room hours after the initial interview. As I laid on the bed I felt something grab me. It was really physical as it flung me from lying on my stomach to a face up position. I felt two large hands on my shoulders pinning me down. I could not move. I fought at first then thought to myself what is going on is this real or am I dreaming.

    Often though some unseen specters will use frottage as an earlier stage of sexual intimacy before more explicit contact is desired, or as a substitute to intercourse to maintain a higher degree of control over the person they are haunting. Also, paranormal frottage can be done without a person being undressed, and perhaps this is preferable or just happens because ghost can penetrate thing such as walking through walls. Invisible sex partners can easily penetrate through Panties, bras, pantyhose, socks, or stockings and full clothing with no problems. and yes this does happen. But a ghost that just will not go all the way with you seems to be a matter of choice on the ghosts part. Or the fact that to the ghost this can aid in sexual arousal and stimulation. But who really knows. The term frottage derives from the French verb frotter, “to rub.”

    Sudden through my clothes I felt something in my genital region. And the two hands still holding my shoulders to the bed forcibly. Then it moved against my penis slowly at first. I was in a panic now I started to yell but an unseen hand heavy and seeming very solid went over my mouth. I then realized that the pressure of what wad that of feeling like a large man was now on top of me and his ghostly penis was now diving in between my tightly closed legs.

    In truth I never had thought of paranormal frotteurism prior to hearing of this case. Now I know it is a paraphilia involving obsession with frottage or performing frottage nonconsensual (e.g., pressing one’s invisible ghost genitals against a stranger). This behavior was once called “paranormal frottage” but that use is no longer accepted.

    Paranormal Intercrural sex (from “inter-” and Latin “crura”, legs), also known as femoral/interfemoral sex/intercourse, is a type of intercourse variously regarded as penetrative and non-penetrative sex, in which a male partner places his penis between the other partner’s thighs ( without lubrication), and thrusts to create friction. It is therefore a type of paranormal irrumation.

    The feelings stopped abruptly after about 20 minutes had gone by as I felt the heavy body collapse on top of me. And then abruptly it was gone. And I was shaken and shaking from this ghostly homosexual contact. The fear was that I was raped in essence by a very real unseen strong malicious force. I am not homophobic or was not even at that time in my life. But if to me forcible sexual contact with someone living or dead is not pleasant unless that’s your personal fetish. At the time I personally asked the ghost to have sexual contact with me to see if the Harp’s were telling me the truth of their haunted sexual experience’s.

    Over the years I have come in close contact with many who have experienced this type of sexual behavior with real ghosts. And recently I have been in contact with many groups that have had this happen to their members repeatedly. Many do not know how to stop such activities from happening to them I tell them seek out an exorcism. Others have told me that the ghost s would have these non penatrative sexual acts with them with a high frequency for over a year or two then they would just stop as fast as they started.

    The fascination with sexual contact with real ghost is what many in the paranormal community are worried about today. There are several groups in my opinion that are walking on dangerous haunted ground. The unsuspecting poor ghost hunters that think that what is shown on television is all that can happen to you and that’s all there is to document. But when a ghost takes them to the level of sexual pleasure and pain what will they do then? And their in my opinion or to too many new ghost hunters that might end up being permanently harmed or mentally scarred for life unless they become aware of the dangers of what a sexual predators ghost can and will do.

    Ms. Harp often in years of correspondence’s with me said the biggest fear was thinking sooner or latter the ghost would move on to penetrating her and she feared that more then what she was experiencing at the time.

    About Greg Ashford

    Greg Ashford is a paranormal investigator who has been researching real ghosts and haunted sexual activity across the united states since 1976. His in depth studies have brought to him many startling revelations about the world of ghosts and things that really do go bump in the night. His personal interest in the subject began when he read Otherworldly Affaires: Haunted Lovers, Phantom Spouses, and Sexual Molesters from the Shadow World BY Brad Steiger.

    • Skepdude said, on July 5, 2009 at 3:58 PM

      You’re serious aren’t you? I feel bad for you really!

      • James said, on July 10, 2009 at 2:26 PM

        @Skepdude

        How did you make that cool pic?

        • Skepdude said, on July 10, 2009 at 2:35 PM

          My Avatar? I don’t quite remember. It was one of those online photo editing websites which had the “engraving” ( I think that’s what it’s called) feature. Just snapped a photo of me and ran it through that and voila.

    • Tim said, on July 6, 2009 at 9:21 PM

      You need serious help my friend

  2. red rabbit said, on July 6, 2009 at 8:21 PM

    Isn’t this the what the whole incubus/succubus stories are about? Not to mention the Virgin Mary?

    “I began my experiment by challenging their ghost to attack me.” Seriously? I mean really?

    I guess that makes you a big ghost tease.

    • Believer said, on July 10, 2009 at 4:18 PM

      What do you mean by the ‘Virgin Mary’?

  3. red rabbit said, on July 10, 2009 at 5:06 PM

    Ummm nonconsensual ghost sex, what else?

    • Skepdude said, on July 11, 2009 at 11:02 AM

      Yeah, would that technically be considered rape??? Never thought of it that way!

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