Skepfeeds-The Best Skeptical blogs of the day

Acupuncture facelift-didn’t we do this already?

Posted in Skepdude by Skepdude on July 14, 2009

I thought I’d already made fun of the acupuncture facelift nonsense. I guess it wasn’t noticed. So here I go again!

If you want some of the benefits of a facelift, but without the surgical procedure and the associated high costs and long recovery process, then you might consider acupuncture facelift.

Yeah sure, go ahead and consider it, but if you don’t reject it as utter rubish…you need help…professional help…just go see a shrink ok?

Actually, an acupuncture facelift is not a facelift in the traditional sense, and you should not expect to see the same dramatic results a conventional facelift can produce. So, what can you expect?

Uh, pick me, pick me! Non-dramatic results? Yes? Yayyy! What a clever way of saying it won’t do shit.

A more accurate term for an acupuncture facelift is “acupuncture facial rejuvenation” or “cosmetic acupuncture.” Although it is not a replacement for surgery, cosmetic acupuncture is a safe, painless, and less costly alternative for a traditional facelift.

Sure, and also did I mention that it won’t do shit?

Cosmetic acupuncture is a series of acupuncture treatments to the face, ears, neck, hands, trunk, and legs along channels (meridians) through which the life force (chi) flows. The treatments are designed to reduce fine lines and wrinkles, improve your complexion, reduce puffiness, soften deep lines and wrinkles, improve muscle tone, enhance circulation, and give your face a more relaxed, younger look.

Don’t you just love chi? I don’t know about you but my life force flows through my….you know! How long before we get penis enlargement acupuncuture?

Why do acupuncturists treat areas other than your face, ears, and neck? According to Chinese traditional medicine, many meridians start or end on the face while others have a remote effect on the face. Treating points along meridians away from the face has the effect of both benefiting the face and rejuvenating the entire body.

Of course, why not!

Depending on the condition of your skin, you may see noticeable results after the first session. Generally, practitioners of cosmetic acupuncture and their clients report that fine lines and wrinkles can significantly improve after just four or five sessions. A complete cosmetic acupuncture program takes about 10 to 15 sessions, and maintenance or “booster” treatments are recommended monthly or bimonthly.

You wanna bet whoever is offering this stuff has before and after pictures? Do you wanna bet the before pictures are taken in bad lighting with no make up and the subject is making a sad/neutral face, while the after are taken in the best lighting possible, with tons of make up and everyone is laughing happily? 10-15 session plus “booster” treatments to improve “fine lines and wrinkles”. Hmmmmmm?

A survey of several cosmetic acupuncture facilities found that some recommend having two sessions per week for several weeks, then one per week to the end of the program; others suggest one per week throughout. The bottom line is, it is up to you and your acupuncturist to determine a schedule that works best for you.

Obviously,  because it’s holistic you see, it’s about you and it’s meant to make you feel precious and taken care off. Don’t you just feel special?

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One Response

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  1. Zooey said, on September 14, 2009 at 11:32 PM

    My friend has gone through the acupuncture route. And it worked wonders for her. Her wrinkles really lessened significantly, and she was very happy with the results. Oh well, to each her own, I guess.

    Zooey Face Lift 3 Day


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