I was taking the subway to work in NYC this morning when an add caught my eye. It was a bunch of words with the large letters “God Is” in the middle of it. The add belongs to the Times Square Church, a church which I attended once at the request of a friend of mine who was trying to save me I guess. Needless to say I was underimpressed by both the preaching and the singing. I particularly didn’t enjoy having to stand up every few minutes or so; made taking a nap hard.
Nevertheless I went to the website of the TSC and found an image of the ad which I am reproducing below:
You can read more about the add campain at the Times Square Church website. Here is a listing of the statements that make up the ad, as shown on the TSC website, with my comments in red.
The ads describe God in just a few of the infinite ways He will prove His presence to you every day.
- With you - So are all imaginary friends
- Willing to help - Tell that to the people of Haiti
- Able to protect - Tell THAT to the people of Haiti
- A father - Yes we get it; you’re a patriarchal religion, get over it
- A husband to the widow - He’ll be in much demand in Haiti
- Your friend – Would a friend let you get crushed alive by brick and cement? Didn’t think so!
- For you – I’m not sure what being “for you” means, but I’m sure the PEOPLE OF HAITI would disagree
- Aware of your struggle – Peeping Tom
- Powerful – It takes mighty power to destroy Port-au-Prince
- Merciful – Didn’t even blink to kill over 150,000 in Haiti. Now that’s mercy if I’ve ever seen it!
- Good – I guess killing hundreeds of thousands within hours can be construed as good in his infinite wisdom!
- Provider – Of death and suffering
- A good listener – When he feels like it
- The one with your answer – But you’ve gotta tithe to get to that answer
- The one who loved you – Loved as in past tense. So did my ex-girlfriend. I still call her EX!
- And always will be – What a joy!
- There when no one else is – Except that he’s not really
- Power to change – Yeah such as changing the course of events in Haiti?
- Incredible – Incredibly cruel that is
- Alive – Unfortunately?
- Ready to forgive – Are we ready to forgive HIM?
- Looking at you – Stop it you pervert! I’ve already got enough of that from Santa!
- Here, now – Where?
- Jesus – Whatever, you can call him whatever you want. My imaginary friend’s name was Jessy.
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Thank you God!