Skepfeeds-The Best Skeptical blogs of the day

Seahorses are an abomination in the eyes of the LORD!

Posted in Fun, Happy Jihads House of Pancakes, Humorous by Skepdude on April 7, 2009

Those filthy little transvestites, seahorses, are at it again, spreading their seahorse propaganda by disguising it as an appeal to “family values.”

They would have you believe that this is the typical seahorse family:


It is the perfect picture of parental responsibility, the loving father doting over the fruit of his man-womb, so they say, but they are bringing these sea-foals into the world specifically to indoctrinate them into the aberrant seahorse lifestyle!

Why does nobody think of the children when they decide that these transgendered deviants should be allowed equal protection under the law? How should fish parents respond to their fish children when they come home from schools and say, “Timmy has a daddy for a mommy!”?

The government has been taken over by those who are sympathetic to the seahorse agenda, and would turn Biblical, bible-believing Christians into hate crimers. The public schools openly teach about seahorse reproduction, indoctrinating our children into becoming seahorses. How many times has a parent come home to find their only pride and joy, their Christian male child, paddling around the swimming pool in a saddle and doing it for carrots because of what they have learned in school? This is why I home school my fish.

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You should need a permit to be so stupid…

Posted in Happy Jihads House of Pancakes by Skepdude on February 18, 2009

Ray Comfort…whatta guy! I swear, he’s a virtuoso of goof. This came through Howse’s website. It’s called: “The Evolution of the Egg: A Fairy Tale for Grown-Ups.” In this, he…redefines…oh, man it’s just dumb:

So which came first, the chicken or the egg? For those who believe the Bible, it was the chicken, and the first egg came some time later.

No. There is a correct answer here, and it will be right whether one takes the Bible literally, takes the Bible with a grain of salt, or takes the Bible out back to the pond and drowns it. There is an objective reality with which we have to deal. Just saying.

However, it’s not so simple among the Genesis-less generation. Did the first chicken come from the first egg, or was it the chicken that first laid the first egg? Long ago, even Aristotle (384-322 BC) spoke of the egg dilemma. He philosophized: “For there could not have been a first egg to give a beginning to birds, or there should have been a first bird which gave a beginning to eggs; for a bird comes from an egg.”

Aristotle was so stoned.

Let’s get into a little philosophical talk ourselves.

Oh, dear God, no. Hold on. I’m getting my shotgun.

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OneNewsNow: The Most Up-To-Date Coverage of Things that Happened in 2004

Posted in Happy Jihads House of Pancakes by Skepdude on January 12, 2009

Hey, folks at OneNewsNow, do you tell your friends that you are journalists? Because you are in fact standardless snot-goblins. You should put that one your business cards. Take this hilarious report, by which I mean “colossal joke,” called “Forced Abortions: America’s Secret Epidemic.”

So secret, not even the person they are interviewing has any idea what the fuck she is talking about. Really.

Now, as I have noted repeatedly, OneNewsNow’s takes the “inverted pyramid” model of journalistic writing and turns it on its head. Actually, that would just be a pyramid. Scratch that. There are no pyramids, only opinions, invariably written in form: “Conservative Asshat Has Opinion, Is News.”

OneNewsNow reporter-substitute and profession snot-goblin (check his business card!) Charlie Butts seems to be responsible for a lot of the worst stuff that comes out of this weird little organization. It must have sucked to have that name in grade school. And holding the record for number of years held back in third grade.

The Elliot Institute has released a report that exposes America’s forced abortion epidemic.

Quick! Isolate the pregnant women! Give them masks! It’s an epidemic!

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Ken Ham: “I bask in the praise of the ignorant!”

Posted in Happy Jihads House of Pancakes by Skepdude on November 23, 2008

Ken Ham, young earth creationism’s PR guy, just can’t get over how fucking fantastic his weird museum is and how easily impressed his visitors are. He has his own blog as an adjunct to the AiG site: Around the World with Ken Ham.

And Ken Ham’s monument to ignorance is really fuckinggreat, just ask people who don’t know anything about evolution!

“We very much enjoyed visiting the museum and spending a few moments with you. We were very impressed with the quality of the museum and overjoyed for our boys to be in a place that reinforced everything we have been teaching them.”

See? It neither challenged the youngsters nor encouraged original thinking! It’s everything that bad parents could possibly want in a museum!

Oh, Ham’s Answers magazine is also fuckinggreat, and again this is according to people who are unworthy to sniff the chairs in a bio 101 class room after a summer night class when the air conditioning is out.

I’ve been studying (and teaching) Genesis in the Bible for years, and this issue ties everything all together in a neat little package for me! I’m am absolutely unscientifically oriented, but you have made everything so understandable.

Hold on. Did I read that correctly?

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Slogging my way through the meltdown of the religious right…

Posted in Happy Jihads House of Pancakes by Skepdude on November 11, 2008

The aftereffects of the Obama win are echoing throughout the World Wide Weirdosphere. Let’s see, what do we have here…? Ah, J. Matt Barber, making an ass of himself as usual. It’s called: “Obama Promises Blood for the Bloodthirsty.”

You can almost smell the puddle of urine he was sitting while he wrote it.

The opening is pretty funny, if death by genital mutilation is your thing, or if you just like hyperbole:

It’s a day like any other. The kids are safe at school and you’re at work wishing you weren’t. All is as it should be. Then your cell phone rings. On the other end is your twelve-year-old daughter’s junior high school guidance counselor. Amid nervous hemming and hawing you detect that something’s horribly wrong. Then the words, “I’m sorry, she didn’t make it.”

At first it doesn’t register. Then it clicks and your soul is pierced. The room begins to spin and rapidly close in. You sink deep and grab for something. But nothing on this earth will hold you up.

Nightmare becomes reality as you learn that your little girl has just bled to death, alone and afraid, on a cold slab at the local Planned Parenthood clinic, the victim of a botched abortion. She was driven there, unbeknownst to you, by the very guidance counselor to whom you speak.

You didn’t even know she was pregnant. Like any child in her shoes, she was afraid to tell you, afraid of what you’d think, afraid you’d be ashamed. So she told someone else. Someone she trusted. Someone she thought cared for her. Someone who decidedly did not.

No one called. No one asked. No one said a word. They didn’t have to. They killed your baby and your baby’s baby in secret.

You feel powerless.

You should.

You are.

It was all legal, you see, and there’s not a thing you can do about it — nothing.

“… Sure, you could have talked to her ahead of time about the options that were available. If she had been on birth control, this would not have happened. If only your school district hadn’t been an abstinence-only district!

“For the rest of your natural life you will wonder why she didn’t trust you? Was it because of the years of indoctrination that left her unable to cope with the real world, or that convinced her that you were unprepared for the real world? Perhaps instead of scaring the shit out of her with your crazy-assed proselytizing, you might have talked to her. But now the little slut is in hell and there’s nothing you can do about it.

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