Skepfeeds-The Best Skeptical blogs of the day

Ghost hunting can be a real pain in the ass…

Posted in Skepbitch by Skepdude on July 3, 2009

READ THE FULL ENTRY AT SKEPBITCH

Have you ever wondered when you should resume sex safely after ghost hunting? How can you exorcise a ghost that has possessed your womb? Or how can you remove a ghost from your rectum? (After you’ve finished with it, presumably.)

Look no further! Maryanna Chatelaine Moresby has treated these common problems in her article Sex after ghost hunting – exorcisms of a womb or anal ghosts: And when is the right time to have sex afterwards?

For today, let’s focus on “Anomalous Anal Ghost Phenomena”.

According to Moresby, when a person dies, their physical body ceases to exist, although a “ghost body” remains, consisting of the “mind, intellect, ego and soul”. Sometimes, these ghost bodies seek refuge in a human host, entering via a vulnerable cavity. Generally, they prefer to enter through the woman’s, um, birth canal, or the man’s rectum. Moresby says that the ass is an “open portal” for spirits. Why enter through a boring old ear or a mouth when you can invade a genital orifice?

Ghost hunting is to blame for this anal affliction:

My husband was plagued with anal ghost 4 times since he started Ghost Hunting. We went to many doctors to find out what his problem was until a psychic from Japan told him what was going on.

Your uninvited tenant may be the ghost of a loved one, an intimate stranger, or a dirty demon.  But how do you know if your buttocks are haunted? Rectal ghost symptoms include severe constipation, diarrhea and flatulence. Moresby claims:

I can certainly attest to this as it has happened to my husband on more then one occasion. And Felching out ghosts is usually a bigger fear and reality then one might think.

Next time you suffer from these demonic digestive system symptoms, you might want to reach for your Priest, rather than your Pepto-Bismol.

Colon Cleanse Products wull not help you if you have an anal or colon ghost!

Laxatives won’t work either. The most effective method for removing a troublesome rectal ghost is to perform a magical enema.

In some cultures spicy hot Enemas are said to chase a ghosts from a persons bowels in many cultures wine or beer enemas are used to get the ghost drunk so he will just fall out of the person and it then can be captured and put into a bottle or container for safe keeping. My husband keeps his in a pickle jar in the garage and has gotten several intriguing EVP’s from it.

This is one tale that TAPS won’t touch. For more challenging guests, try a “blessed lubricant”.

A quicker form of the dry enema ghost removal utilizes the injection of a small amount of water-based lubricant such as K-Y that is blessed and administered directly into the rectum via a non-hypodermic syringe, such as an oral syringe, or from some other source. My husband usually does this for 5 days after any ghost encounter he has as a precaution. The usual amount of blessed lubricant applied is about 2 tsp (10 cc), which will produce a movement in 30 minutes or less. The movement will be produced in a compact body, rather than in the more copious liquid form produced by a wet enema; and since no water is used, none will be retained higher up in the colon, to be expelled at a later, and possibly inconvenient, time.

Is it just me, or is this one kinky couple?

Moresby shares with us the touching story of her husband Riley’s rectal misadventures:

READ THE FULL ENTRY AT SKEPBITCH

Ghost Repeller Now Available

Posted in JREF, Skepdude by Skepdude on March 19, 2009

While some may be “hunting” ghosts, or merely trying to decide whether they exist or not, one ambitious Thai company, Boondee Laboratories, has created a device that will force them away. They claim it works on devils too.

First, I have to comment on the language on the site. The authors are clearly not native English speakers, and as easy as it would be to poke fun at their phrasing and word choice, I’m going to refrain from doing so for one simple reason: I can’t speak a word of Thai that isn’t on a restaurant menu (I’m a big fan of Tom Kha Gai).

This electronic device sends out a “killer wave” that’s supposed to repel ghosts. From Boondee:

Video capture the invisible picture then convert to radio signal and sent to WAVE KILLER gernerated by complex electronic circuit.

READ THE REST OF THIS STORY AT “RANDI.ORG”

Killer Wave! KILLER WAVE..AAAAHHH! But the real money quote is in the FAQ’s if you ask me. Check this out:

  • What about my house has a good spirit of our ancestor protect my family, would this machine kill their spirit ?
      Ans. The machine can distinguist the phenomenon signal input, good spirit and bad spirit has its characteristic, the device will ignor or skip the good spirit.
  • What happen if we unplug the machine at later time, how can we sure the ghost won’t come back again with more angry ?
    • Ans. The machine is smart than ghost, fear and not return. You did not battle with ghost, the machine fight with ghost for you.

    Ha ha….ha ha  ha ha! I can’t believe they want to sell that cheap looking piece of crap!

    You Don’t See Dead People. And Neither Do Your Kids.

    Posted in Rational Moms by Skepdude on October 6, 2008

    My two-year old daughter, Sally, loves ghosts. Last Halloween, she received the book Sheep Trick or Treat and since then we’ve read it many, many times. Sally points to the ghosts throughout the book and says, “Ooooooooooo” in her best scary voice. This leads to her ghost imitation where she walks around the house with a blanket on her head. Sally decided way back in June that she wants to be a ghost this Halloween. To my daughter, as well as rational people everywhere, ghosts are fictional, frivolous things. We can say this because the existence of ghosts, or any kind of paranormal activity for that matter, has never been credibly documented or recorded using true scientific methods.

    In searching online for a ghost costume that will fit Sally better than a sheet (and let me tell you, it’s hard finding a ghost costume that doesn’t make her look like a Klan member), I happened upon a blog for parents of psychic kids. This site promotes “intuitive parenting for intuitive kids.” The posts are from parents who believe their son or daughter sees ghosts (mostly deceased relatives) or has an invisible friend.

    Readers of this blog write with glee about how sensitive and perceptive their kids are. Billy communicates with Grandma! Cindy sees angels! Joey talks to an invisible friend! (Note their use of the word invisible rather than imaginary. As a child, my sister had two imaginary friends. We never thought she had a “gift,” we thought she had a screw loose.) The parents are desperate for advice on how to nurture the psychic ability in their “very special” children. It’s sad when adults think they possess psychic abilities, but it’s really sad when they project these ideas onto little kids. Some of the children referenced in posts are only two or three years old.

    READ THE REST OF THIS ENTRY AT “RATIONAL MOMS”