Skepfeeds-The Best Skeptical blogs of the day

1,000 rabbis start thinking about “the gays”…

Posted in Skepdude by Skepdude on February 4, 2010

Sounds like the beginning of a tasteless, bad joke, but in fact it is the beginning of a tasteless, bad real story. 1,000 rabbis speak out against the Obama administration’s liberal views on homosexuals in the army. And they don’t like it one bit.

When Americans are suffering economically and millions need jobs, it’s shocking that the Administration is focused on its ultra-liberal militantly homosexualist agenda forcing the highlighting of homosexuals and homosexuality on an unwilling military.

That is shocking; just as shocking as the abolition of slavery was when it forced the highlighting of human rights to an unwilling slave-owning citizenry. **shaking fist in disgust and anger**

This is the equivalent of the spiritual rape of our military to satisfy the most extreme and selfish cadre of President Obama’s kooky coalition.
We agree with Eileen Donnelly of the Center for Military Readiness that this will hurt the cohesiveness of the military, cause many to leave the army, and dramatically lower the number of recruits, perhaps leading to the reinstatement of a compulsory draft.

Oh poor scared Eileen, did you think the same when women were first allowed in the military? Oh the horror of non-discrimination!

Thirteen months before 9/11, on the day New York City passed homosexual domestic partnership regulations, I joined a group of Rabbis at a City Hall prayer service, pleading with G-d not to visit disaster on the city of N.Y.

Apparently 9/11 was not a conspiracy, it was God that inflicted it upon NYC because of it’s gay-friendly regulations. Well it all makes sense now!  Oh, and by the way, God ignored a prayer, by a group of Rabbis nonetheless, which just goes to support the old saying: Nothing fails like prayer!

We have seen the underground earthquake, tsunami, Katrina, and now Haiti. All this is in sync with a two thousand year old teaching in the Talmud that the practice of homosexuality is a spiritual cause of earthquakes. Once a disaster is unleashed, innocents are also victims just like in Chernobyl.

It is also in sync with something known as common sense which teaches that, given enough time, some sort of a disaster will follow any and all events! Always!  For example, 9/11 fell much closer after the 2000 Oscars , presented in 03/25/2001, thus only 5+ months before, as compared to the 13 from the gay-friendly regulation passage. Obviously the connection is even stronger to the Oscars. Damn you Hollywood!

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Different lunacy, same asshattery

Posted in Evolved and Rational by Skepdude on February 25, 2009

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “EVOLVED AND RATIONAL”

Ultra-Orthodox Jews are stoning buses because “BAWWWW men and women should be separate because men cannot keep their penises in their pants BAWWWW!”

In the view of some ultra-Orthodox Jews, segregated seating, with women entering separately through the rear door and sitting at the back, is vital to uphold their stringent traditions stipulating modesty and prohibiting physical contact with members of the opposite sex.

Reminded of something, folks?

Menachem Kenig, head of a committee pressing for segregated buses, says Israel’s leading bus company, Egged, is in effect forcing religious people to sin. “The one place where men and women are forced to be together is on the bus,” he says. “People are crowded in, men and women push up against each other. There are sudden stops and sharp turns and men fall on the women. This really angers us, it is a violation of the concept of modesty that is at the basis of the ultra-orthodox community.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Excuse me while I stop laugHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Truly epic lulz, theistards. If the bus drivers are really driving so fast that people are falling on each other in the bus, men and women sitting together would be the least of your concerns.

I think somebody just needs to get laid.

But Laura Wharton, a secularist member of the Jerusalem city council, says the attempt to force a new segregated bus line is “outrageous and extremist”, adding: “It is humiliating to be sent to the back of the bus.”

No shit, Sherlock. Maybe you should spend more time shouting down your Orthodox coreligionists and fighting over the correct interpretation of your holy book? Just saying.

A Mea Shearim store-owner said: “According to the Jewish religion, it is forbidden to damage property. These people are causing shame to the ultra-Orthodox community, which is made up of very delicate people. It is true that Egged does not give good service to the ultra-Orthodox but you don’t solve this through ugly violence.”

Translation: They are not true Jews! They are making us look bad HURR DURR! I am a true Jew and I know what god wants! BAWWWWWW!

The theistards involved may be different, but the sort of lunacy we have come to expect from the fundies often stays the same. It is made of BAWWWWW and fail for them, and epic lulz for our side.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “EVOLVED AND RATIONAL”

Rock rock rock the boat ….

Posted in Skepdude, Video by Skepdude on November 26, 2008

Get it? Cause he can’t stop rocking back and forth. 

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#48 Forgiveness

Posted in Stuff God Hates by Skepdude on October 9, 2008

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “STUFF GOD HATES”

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!

Ya wanna know something I really hate? Something I’m really just sick and tired of doing? Forgiving people for their sins. It’s stupid, it’s a waste of time, and I’m not gonna do it anymore.

All day long every day, all I get is annoying ass humans begging Me to forgive them for their sins. And I’ve put up with it, and even encouraged it, for far too long. Well no more. If you’ve committed a sin, don’t come knocking on Heaven’s door, cause I’m done with that. From now on, if you do something bad you’re just going to have to live with the consequences.

Believe Me, if you were in My position, you would’ve ended this nonsense a long time ago. Your sins are super-boring, ok? I’ve heard them all a million times before. Here’s a few of the completely unoriginal forgive-requests I got in just the last couple of minutes:

“Beautiful Lord God, please forgive me for forgetting to bless that man who sneezed today. And for smoking meth and having gay sex with him. I try not to Lord! In Jesus name, Amen.”

“Hey God! Please forgive me for puking up my dinner again. And please forgive me for somehow gaining a pound yesterday. Hug and kisses!”

“God, forgive me getting drunk and killing (?) that kid with my car. Also for calling my mother a dirty whore, even if she is one.”

All these people are dumb in their own special way. And you know what? After listening to this tripe every second of every day for 4,000 years, it’s gotten to be just a little bit irritating.

Also, I generally don’t like it when some schmuck begs My forgiveness for a sin, such as say, oh I don’t know, molesting his daughter, and then goes to her room and ‘tucks her in’ again the very next night. Not cool!

You know, I wouldn’t even be in this mess if it wasn’t for that nitwit son of mine Jesus. He’s the one who had to shout out on the cross, “Father! Forgive them, for they know not what they do!” To which I said, shut your trap, Jesus! You forgive them. Let them believe you died for the world if you want, you narcissistic little bitch, but then you have to forgive them when they pray. But does he do it? No, Jesus almost never answers or forgives anyone; he’s too busy smoking weed and listening to his gangster rap albums.

My Jews earn their forgiveness.

Anyway, I guess I’m reminded of all this because it’s Yom Kippur today, which is the special day My Chosen Jews set aside to atone for their sins. It’s hard to imagine now, but I used to have things all worked out so that I would only be bothered with this forgiveness shit once a year. Did you hear what I just said? ONCE. A. YEAR.

My Jews know how to honor Me. First, they pay upwards of $250 to go to Temple (if they are good Jews), they read from My Book, they fast, they feel guilty for their sins all day, and shit! They even shed precious bulls blood for Me sometimes. And then, only then, do they dare ask for My forgiveness. They’re the best.

But these fucking Christians! They ask for forgiveness every five fucking minutes. The nerve of these fucking people!

To My Jewish followers: Thanks for the fasting and the blood sacrifice, but you are not forgiven this year because I am all forgived out. To My Christian followers: be more Jewish. To My Muslim followers: keep up the good work.

I, The Almighty Lord, have spoken.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “STUFF GOD HATES”

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News Recap: Fundamentalist Edition

Posted in Skepchick by Skepdude on October 6, 2008

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “SKEPCHICK”

The Followers of Christ church is a fundamentalist Christian cult renowned for killing children, and sadly they’ve added another to the death toll: 16-year old Neil Beagley died in June of a urinary tract blockage that can be fixed with a simple procedure. Neil’s parents murdered him by knowingly withholding the life-saving medical treatment because they believed that prayer would convince a god to save him. Often in cases of faith healing not working, the death is attributed to the god teaching the family a lesson, or punishing the deceased for not having strong enough convictions.

To summarize: a boy died because of his parents’ uncritical acceptance of religious doctrine.

The parents have just pled not guilty and will face trial in January 2009. Read more about the FoC on Rick Ross’ comprehensive site.

In other news, gangs of ultra-orthodox Jews in Israel are beating, kidnapping, and hospitalizing people who do not meet their standards of modesty. Though not all the fundamentalists say they approve of the violence, few have the temerity to speak up.

Also, last month fundamentalist Muslims fire-bombed the house of a publisherbecause he plans to print The Jewel of Medina, a book about the prophet Mohammud that no one has read yet.

Finally, somewhere, some time in the past week or so, a fundamentalist atheist was told that without religion we’d have no moral compunction to be good. The fundamentalist then shrugged and went back to his book.

Happy Sunday everyone!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “SKEPCHICK”